he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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