I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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