dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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