Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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