how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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