There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize