Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize