I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Slut skills are useful in every country.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
