On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
