Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
