Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Never joke about your clitoris.
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