Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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