I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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