Don't you send me to vm
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
