Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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