New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
dude. I can hear the air.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
