did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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