Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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