did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
