If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
