Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
40s are totally the cure
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
