My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
