There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
