Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
