Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
my shit smells like andre
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
