You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
