I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize