I wish I only lived at night.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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