go do what you do best...puke behind churches
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
