is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You made out with two different species that night
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
