Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
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