he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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