no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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