is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
