New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I didn't notice because vodka
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
