what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize