it was like eating out sand paper
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
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