I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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