Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
So vagazzling was a success
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize