I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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