She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
whose parrot is this?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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