the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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