I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
