we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
