Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
