Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You had me at "let me see your balls"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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