you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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