smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
