I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
