just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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