i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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