shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
