as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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