i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She bit a glass in half.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
