I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize