I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
