Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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