Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The dick lei will go down in squad history
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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