Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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