He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
