i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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