Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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