piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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