Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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